Today on Easter Day, the resurrection of Jesus Christ occurred. When he rose from his grave it was to guide his people in the name of the father, the son, and the holy spirit. With his assurance to always be with us to the very end of the age. Not only is today about Easter and Christ's resurrection, but it's about God giving us the resurrection to overcome everything in our lives.
Happy Easter!
The topic of social self has been heavy on my mind lately and has brought some awareness to those moments and how I feel in them. I start by raising the question, why is it that we feel more comfortable being our most authentic selves around certain people, but when it comes down to a social setting of unfamiliarity, we become blocked by all our fears? In simpler words why do we feel so comfortable to express ourselves around our closest friends but when meeting new people, for example, we allow our inner critic to talk us down?
We fear what people will think of us, especially when we are choosing to be vulnerable. Does the problem lie with the person who holds judgment or with the individual who is unsure of themselves? With confidence in our beliefs comes certainty through our presence. So when you stand strong to who you are, no one can intimidate that. I make a joke in one of my comedy sets, on how people assume that I am calm and collected in social settings until they see the sweat stain under my armpits, and know they spoke too soon.
Sam Harris, an American philosopher, says to expect those feelings of fear, judgment, and anxiety to arise. It's a matter of if we choose to act on those feelings or allow them to pass. Harris, even compares your social self to a video game, in regards to expecting challenges in completing the next level but not letting the fear of losing prevent you from trying.
Imagine living in a world where no judgments are passed and we understand and accept other's views, no matter what we choose to believe. That would eliminate all the baggage that comes with choosing to express ourselves. But we don’t live in a world like that so we ought to expect some of those thoughts of “do they understand me?”, “Is this the right thing to say?”, “do I belong here”, and let them go.
God doesn't want you to worry about the opinions or thoughts of others or to let them hold you back from what He's calling you to do or say.
Donna K. Maltese
I am sure many people can relate. Therefore, in your next encounter with your inner critics during a social setting, remind yourself how nervous and vulnerable everyone is. Rather than disassociating from the present moment, to come up with what to say next, allow yourself to be compassionate, and simply listen and respond.